Our tiny condo looks today as it did when we moved in two years ago, piled high with boxes and no place to move.  We emptied the storage unit this week in preparation for the move to Brockville.

We haven’t even started to pack the condo yet and there doesn’t appear to be any place to put any boxes when we have packed them.

Only a week to go and we will be driving the 400+ kms south-east to Brockville and our new (to us) spacious house.

Everything has gone reasonably well with the various utility companies arranging the moving of services and connections – except the internet.

JRW: Hello I would like to inform you of our move and transfer our service to Brockville.

Virgin: O.k. I can help you with that. (they always say that even if they can’t help you)

JRW: Thank you – we are moving April 6, 2018 and would like to get connected on April 10, 2018.

Virgin: Sure, no problem. Let me check that the service is available in Brockville. Yes the service is available. Is there anything else I can help you with. Confirm new address etc.

JRW: No that’s it thanks very much.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy – or so I thought.

Next day I get a call from Virgin.

Virgin: The service you have now is not available in Brockville. We have a slower service available in Brockville.

JRW: o.k. that’s fine, I will review the speed after we have been there a few months. I just want to have a connection as soon as I move in.

Virgin: So you don’t want me to place the move order.

JRW: No I want the move order.

Virgin: O.k. I can not do that, I’m the back office, the front office have to make the change in service.

JRW: o.k. so contact the front office and make the change.

Virgin: No I can’t do it I’m the back office.

Obviously, there was a communication problem here. Why couldn’t the move order be made with the change in service.

JRW: So I have to contact the front office and make the change to a slower speed. Do you not think that is a little silly.

Virgin: I can’t make the change.

Round One to Virgin.

JRW called Virgin front office:

JRW: Hi I need to get virgin internet connected to my new house in Brockville. And…. I was interrupted by the virgin rep.

Virgin: Sure, I can help you with that. What is your address.

JRW: Let me explain and please do not interrupt. I currently have Virgin internet and I am moving. And…

Virgin: o.k. let me check if the service is available in your new area.

JRW breathing very deeply: Virgin is available in my new area, however it is at a slower speed…. And

Virgin: Hi, Virgin internet is available let me get you connected, where is your new address.

JRW breathing even more deeply: Stop, and listen to me. I have already been in touch with Virgin about my MOVE I got a call from the “back office” to tell me that the current speed of internet is not available however, it is available at a lower speed. I am o.k. with that. I only need it for a few months, until we have got settled.

As I am typing this I realize what my mistake was. I said too many things in one breath.

Virgin: So you only need the internet for a few months.

JRW: I need my internet moving to my new house in Brockville.

Virgin: O.k. I can help you with that.

You can see where this is going can’t you.

Round Two: Virgin

At the end of that week, I thought we had cleared it up, until I got another call from the “back office”.

Please review the first conversation.

JRW: Rather tersely, you contact the front office. I already have done it.

Next day Ralf got a call on his phone as he is the primary account holder and I think they didn’t want to hear me tell them where to put their internet.

Please review the first conversation again.

Ralf: I’m sorry I don’t deal with any of this my wife does.

Ralf hands me the phone.  The same man I spoke to yesterday was on the phone, he sounded rather scared.

Virgin: Same conversation as the previous two conversations.

JRW: Let me speak to a supervisor, I have had three phone calls regarding the slower speed, I have contacted the front office, I just want to know if I can have my internet connected on April 10, 2018.

Virgin: My supervisor isn’t here.

I was so tempted to scream liar. But once again I took a deep breath.

JRW: o.k. So we are done I will have a man come in on April 10, 2018 to connect me with the internet and I have the modem.

Virgin: I think I can help you with that.

JRW: NO, you WILL help me with that. I WILL have a man come in on April 10, 2018 to connect me with my internet.

Round Three to JRW – I think.

Now, just because I am a masochist, I decided to pop into the Virgin retail store to see if they could help me or at least check on their computers to see if the move order had been placed.

Really helpful young man: I can’t see a move order, but that is not to say it hasn’t been placed. Here is a phone # to contact the customer service to check.

JRW: They are not very helpful.

Really helpful young man: You know what I would suggest, cancel Virgin internet at your current address and then call to have internet connected at your new house.

JRW: Really – it should be easier than that.

Round Four: Virgin

Monday March 26, 2018 again my masochistic tendencies emerged – JRW called Virgin customer service.

JRW: Hi I just want to confirm that my move order has been placed.

Virgin: Sure, I can help you with that.

JRW: We are moving to Brockville on April 10, 2018.

Note: One sentence.

Virgin: What is the confirmation #.

JRW: I do not have one, that is what I am calling for.

Virgin: We would have given you a confirmation # when the move order was placed.

JRW: There have been a few issues. I have had four phone calls regarding this. I do not have a confirmation #.

Three sentences, but this woman appeared to be able to take them all in. Of course, the tone of my voice may have helped.

Virgin: The confirmation # is …….

JRW: Really, I have a confirmation order #, I am actually going to get internet connected. What time?

Virgin: What time did you ask for?

JRW: We didn’t get that far – however I would like the afternoon install please.

Virgin: O.k. there will be someone there between 12:00 and 5:00 on April 10.

JRW: Awesome, thank you so much.

Then she blew it…

Virgin: If for some reason the installer has not been by 5:00 p.m. on April 10, here is the number you can call and refer to the confirmation #.

JRW: Why would he not be there, we have placed an order.

Virgin: Oh I am sure he will be there, but just in case.

Not sure who won that round. I will let you know if we get internet connected on April 10, or I will be using the local library internet.

Fortunately, there are other low cost providers in Brockville and we will be moving our service to them when we come back from our Europe trip this summer.

Yes, we are still going to Europe. We are having hardwood and ceramics installed before we leave. As soon as that is done we will plan our trip to Europe. Hopefully, we will be able to fly middle of May so that we can enjoy fresh asparagus in Germany. Spargelfest mmm, lovely.

We should be back by Mid-August, so that I can send Ralf out to work, back on the school buses for the start of the school year. I will look for work in an office. Although I really enjoyed working at Bradford Greenhouses, I am not sure I want to work in retail and have to work week-ends again.